I was about to give up

8:39 PM

The end of 2016 was the toughest time of the year. I had chicken pox and my whole body is full of blisters. That wasn't just it. I had sleep deprivation few weeks before I officially had my chicken pox. Along with my sleeping disorder, I'm constantly having back pain due to heavy house chores that I'm slowly (but surely) doing spring clean to my house in Seri Kembangan. Not long after that, I got a little bump over my neck something that swollen of joints or tendons I don't know how to describe it. I hope it make sense when I said my neck hurts. And yes, along the way I constantly sneeze with never-ending hingus. Disgusting. To sum all that, few last weeks of December 2016 were all misery, sickness and full of gloomy days. I'm not doing anything, lost every piece of my hope and energy is slowing dying.


What have I done that I had to go through all these all at once?

Haven't I done enough for all things to be in good hands? In what way did I do wrong or which part of it that makes things insufficient?

I'm all devastated. I feel completely hopeless.

Now that I only need to submit one assignment and it wasn't even completed. What did I do wrong?

Allahurabbi. Please make it easy for me. I just what it to be submitted and that's all about it. I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm too tired to even keep all it in mind. I've had enough.

Permudahkanlah ya Allah. 

I'm sad and that's about it. 

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